An Open Letter to Donald Trump on His Recent Christian Conversion

Tump BibleDearest Donald,

My old buddy James Dobson says you are a baby Christian who recently accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. ¡Felicitaciones! Who am I to question the conviction of your heart or the resolve of your newfound faith? So I’ll let Jesus do so.

One day, a certain CEO came to Jesus asking him, “Good teacher, what must I do to be saved, how can I obtain eternal life?” Jesus responded by reminding the CEO of God’s commandments. Although this particular CEO gloated about making money when the real estate market crashed, forcing many to lose their homes, was engaged in multiple infidelities and declared multiple bankruptcies so taxpayers could increase his net worth — still, in his own mind he saw himself as hugely pious.


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